Today is the ‘International Day of Happiness’ so it got me thinking about what it actually means to be happy. Does it come externally or is it a state of mind you can create internally despite your outside circumstances?
When people are asked what makes them happy, often they talk about food they enjoy, buying clothes or shoes, having the latest technology, watching a film or listening to music. So if this is happiness, what’s the difference between happiness and pleasure? Are they the same? Are they linked? Do you need pleasure to be happy and vice versa?
I think there is a difference. Pleasure is a sensation, a rush, a short term feeling, not something you can feel continuously. Many people seem to be trying to obtain happiness by pursuing pleasure. Money can certainly buy pleasure but not necessarily happiness and we can easily become addicted to pleasurable experiences which could ironically lead to unhappiness.
Happiness, on the other hand, is a mindset, an internal source, something you can feel all day everyday. Many people are looking for happiness in the wrong places and although I’m not going to start siting studies on positive psychology and the science of happiness, I do believe a large part of being happy is a conscious choice, an attitude to life, even a skill you can learn.
We can all take responsibility for our own minds. Of course some people have a harder time than others and that’s something that’s not always within our control. It’s not fair but whatever your circumstances, there are things you can do to give you a better chance of being happy.
The areas that I believe contribute to my ‘happiness’ in life are:
-Time with family and friends
-Appreciating what I have and the simple things in life
-Maintaining an optimistic outlook
-Feeling a sense of purpose
-Living in the moment
-My health and fitness
Time with family and friends
We get a lot of happiness from other people but remember that just as other people can make us happy, we are all ‘other people’ to someone else.
Very much like yawning, happiness really is contagious. When one person is happy, it spreads from friend to friend. Always surround yourself with people who make you happy and feel good about yourself.
Appreciating what I have and the simple things in life
Here are some reminders about the things life is just too short not to appreciate…
Life’s surprises.
Just because it’s not what you were expecting or planning for doesn’t mean it’s not what you want. Have you heard of serendipity? So even when negative things happen it often means you’re being redirected to something better. This has happened to me on more than one occasion.
The challenges that strengthen you.
Sometimes these are exactly what we need in life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles we would not be as strong as we would have been without them.
Give every opportunity a chance and leave no room for regrets.
We are who we are as a result of the positives and the negatives and everything that has happened to us.
The simple things.
It’s the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary. As I have got older, I believe this more and more.
Maintaining an optimistic outlook
Train your mind to see the good in everything.
It’s always a choice to choose one thought over another.
Have an attitude of gratitude.
It will make you healthier and happier and can lead to other positive emotions including a boost in energy and optimism.
Be kind to yourself.
Too often, we’re our own worst enemies. Whilst it’s good to be aware of mistakes you’ve made and improvements you can make, beating yourself up about it really does nothing to help. In fact, self-criticism just makes us unhappy. So instead of dwelling on your faults, focus on the good things, your successes and the things you like about yourself or are proud of. This shift will make you more productive, less stressed, and…happier.
See the glass as half-full.
One trait that goes hand-in-hand with happiness, is optimism. People who think positively are more productive and generally healthier and happier than those ‘half empty’ thinkers.
Work on developing optimistic thinking. Happy people always look on the bright side. Successful athletes focus on winning, not losing. Optimism is the mind’s natural self-defence mechanism against being unhappy.
Feeling a sense of purpose
Be unique and authentic. Everyone has their own dreams and goals and their own struggles. Embrace the differences. Just as you shouldn’t compare yourself with others, it’s important not to worry about what others think about you. Happy people are spontaneous and natural. They say what they think and feel, and aren’t concerned what other people think of them.
Ideas and activities that excite you.
‘Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about’ Have you ever heard that saying? When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it shows.
Living in the moment
Focus on the present. Don’t dwell on the past, on things that have gone wrong or not worked out as you had hoped. Similarly, don’t worry about what hasn’t happened yet. Happy people live in the now. If you can’t be happy today, what makes you think tomorrow will be any different?
Get a new hobby.
Challenging yourself to learn a new skill can make you happy thanks to the feelings of accomplishment and self-confidence that often come along with gaining new expertise. Maybe that’s my cue to sign up for those long overdue french lessons!
My Health and Fitness
Look after yourself every single day. Life is busy and it’s easy to forget about taking care of yourself, sometimes we even feel guilty of it as it’s time taken away from other things we think are more important. But your health IS your life. Never underestimate the feeling of being strong and well. ‘The Greatest Wealth is Health’. It’s the foundation for every chance at happiness life has to offer.
Spend time outside.
Being outside automatically makes me feel happy, especially at this time of year when it’s started to get a bit lighter in the evenings. Plus, spending time outdoors exposes us to more sunlight, which can help our bodies produce vitamin D. Low levels of this nutrient have been linked to depression so it makes sense to soak up the sun (even just 15 minutes per day).
Exercise regularly.
Obviously I’m a big fan of exercise, not just for the physical benefits. Making time for a regular exercise makes our brains release endorphins, the feel-good chemicals that improve your mood.
Sleep more.
I dedicated a whole blog post to the positive benefits of sleep. It is vital for overall well-being and happiness.
Happy on the inside
When it comes to leading a healthy lifestyle, eating well is essential, especially since the nutrients you consume can improve your mental health as much as your physical well-being. Apart from the essential vitamins and minerals and macronutrients other things to consider are the following:
Omega-3s.
These support heart, brain, mood, joint, skin, immune, digestive and metabolic health. Omega-3s reduce inflammation, a process that contributes to depression and anxiety, heart disease and cancer.
Animal sources include fatty fish, grass-fed meat, fish and krill oil supplements. Vegetarian sources include flaxseed, walnuts, hemp and chia seeds. Other healthy fats found in olive oil, avocados, nuts and seeds also decrease depression risk.
Antioxidants.
Antioxidants are naturally found in certain foods. They help fight free radicals in our bodies. Free radicals cause all sorts of problems from disease to accelerated ageing so packing these into our diet can help us lead happier lives. The primary antioxidant in green tea (EGCG) has been shown to improve mood. I take it as a supplement every day. Other antioxidant rich foods are berries, walnuts, leafy green vegetables and you will be pleased to hear, small amounts are found in red wine, coffee and dark chocolate. That makes me happy!
Serotonin.
Raising serotonin improves mood. Serotonin is made from tryptophan. Vitamins B6 and B12 help maintain serotonin levels, and help reduce irritability, insomnia and calm nerves. Vitamin B6 increases omega-3s in cell membranes. Theanine in green tea has been shown to increase levels of serotonin.
Other happy helpers.
Many herbal tea’s are calming and can promote sleep. Phenylethylamine is an antidepressant found in chocolate. Magnesium calms muscles and nerves, improves mood and sleep. Fibre is essential for happy gut bacteria, which remove toxins from our bodies. Many essential oils are known to improve mood and make you happy due to their specific chemical profiles and their effect on certain biochemical reactions within our bodies. Experiment a little with these mood-elevating foods, oils and supplements. You’ll be ‘happy’ you did.
Are you happy yet?
So many feel good tips already to think about but to finish I wanted to add a few more. Things that are important to me when thinking about what makes me happy.
Accept what you have.
Never expect too much. Unhappy people never seem to have enough. They are always wanting more and think they will be happy when they get it. Guess what? They never are.
Don’t spend time complaining about the things that happen to you, it’s a waste of time and effort. To be happy, we need to enjoy what we have and make choices based on what we want to happen to us.
Enjoy what you do.
Happy people do what they enjoy and enjoy what they do. You are allowed to be happy at work too. Don’t get stuck in a job you hate, working with people you don’t like just because the money is great or you think you can’t get another job. Many people spend years of their lives trying to make money but in the process, sacrifice their health.
Stop Worrying.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Happy people don’t worry. Most of your worries are never as bad as you imagine them to be anyway. How many times have you looked back and thought ‘that wasn’t so bad after all?’
Smile and Laugh more.
Smiling and laughing automatically makes you feel happier.
Your turn…
What would you add to the list?
What makes you happy?